Family Values (and all things related)
by themaninthefunnyponcho
Summary: Monokuma receives a surprise visit from his estranged older brother...a certain bear of little brain.


Mono bear (known as Monokuma to his colleagues and prisoners) sat in the Chair. The Chair sat in his massive control room, where he had every possible angle of the life of the current and probably last class of Hope's Peak High School. What a sheer genius he had been! Locking up these poor innocent pubescent teenagers in this school, and forcing them to kill each other in cold blood was certainly the best idea he had conceived since, well, since ever! Oh, it brought out such _despair_. Ah, _despair_. _Deeesssspaaiiirrrrr_ … Monokuma whispered the grossly lengthened word under his breath, savoring each overused letter. It made his ears twitch and his nose quiver. It made his mouth water and his arms spasm. It made his spine tingle with the utmost pleasure. Yup, despair was "where it was at," as the Americans curtly put it. Monokuma watched as his high schooled prisoners succumbed one by one to that wonderful despair, which often culminated in their murdering of another student. Oh, what a joyful sensation it was! Monokuma sucked in that despair as though he might suck as smoothie through a straw. When all was said and done, Monokuma wanted nothing less than utter, pure, unadulterated despair from wherever he could get it.

But of course, _you_ probably already knew that, didn't you?

It just so happened that Monokuma was sitting in that Chair of his, digesting a good helping of despair he had gained from the most recent class trial. The latest trial involved, was it the Celes girl? The gambler? Now, the first thought Monokuma should have had was, _How on earth does someone get into a prestigious high school on account of their ability to gamble? Isn't gambling all luck? Don't we already_ have _a lucky student?_ But he had already thought of that long ago. The murder had been nearly flawless, and had claimed two victims (the obese nerd and that annoying hall monitor guy, good riddance). If it hadn't been for the unusually good memory of that lucky student, she would have gotten away with it. But she didn't, and, well, you know.

Monokuma had always been a fan of the unexpected. Well, at least he _thought_ he had been. For example, the fire truck in the poor (actually, she might have been rich) girl's execution? Who would have seen _that_ one coming? Monokuma, after thinking it over for a couple of seconds, decided that he was a genius when it came to surprises. So, Monokuma sat back in his Chair, gazing over his wonderful control room. Then, his gaze paused for a second. On an old land-line phone sitting on a nearby desk, a solitary light blinked on and off.

"Huh," said Monokuma to himself. He had forgotten that old phone was there, and almost never used it. Considering it some more, Monokuma thought, _I haven't used that phone in nearly a year._ _A lot of messages could build up over such a long time. I should at least check_. He hopped off of the Chair and trotted over to the answering machine, and pressed the play button. There was just one message on the machine.

"Oh, hello, Mono, my brother, my younger one I think… Oh bother, now if I only had one brother… Think, think, think… Um, oh yes, younger. Now, I was just about to say something about, mmm, honey… no, it was that I just haven't seen you in what seems to be a really, really long time, so _I'm_ coming to visit. And also to eat some honey, mmm… I'll come in about two weeks, yes, and well goodbye and hello!"

A visit from Win? Monokuma chuckled to himself, but sort of sighed at the same time, as he wasn't really the type to expect or enjoy visits from family – wait, when was this message left?! A robotic, synthesized voice immediately said: "[date removed]."

That was exactly two weeks ago! If Win said that he'd be here in two weeks, and it was two weeks from then…

As Monokuma's eyes widened in realization, the doorbell rang.

Mrs. Bear looked at her two young sons and sighed. It was a heavy sigh, no doubt, but it was also a sort of a happy sigh at the same time. It was just that they seemed to be growing up so _quickly_. If only their father were there to see them now…

Of course, her husband Mr. Bear had departed long ago, while Mono was still an infant. Only Edward had any memories of his father. Maybe that was why the two cubs were so different from one another. Edward, at least in a mother's eyes, seemed to be turning out alright, even if he was a little, er, dull. And there was his fascination, or maybe obsession, with honey, and eating in general. However, he was kind at heart. Mono, on the other hand, seemed to be bursting with intelligence. Each and every day he seemed to be coming up with some sort of new contraption, or some new idea. That wasn't what bothered Mrs. Bear. What worried her was the nature of the ideas Mono often came up with. Instead of coming up with ideas and inventions that were positive, Mono seemed bent on causing the misery of others, often in very creative ways. Usually, Mono took sheer enjoyment from procuring misery from the other forest animals, often by depriving them of food, forcing them to fight, and other many terrible things. Mrs. Bear, not knowing what to do, simply had to pretend she didn't notice. If only their father were here. He would know what to do.

Another detail that bothered Mrs. Bear was Mono's growing dislike towards his elder brother. She wasn't sure of the cause of this dislike, but she had a good idea. She happened to overhear a conversation between the brothers in the other room. She found the conversation to be at first quite disturbing, but soon, it quickly became humorous.

"Ha, Ed! You're in for it this time!"

"In what, Mono?"

"What? No, that's not what I meant for it all! What I mean is, you can't weasel you're way of this one, no matter how hard you try!"

"Woozles are Fearsome Animals, I think. Maybe even as fearsome as Heffalumps. Of course, Heffalumps are much more attracted to Honey, which is why one can never know-"

"Ha ha, Ed! That honey you just mentioned? It's gone! All of it! I threw it all out! All that honey you were stung by bees to get? IT'S ALL GONE! Now, it's okay to feel a little down, I get it. Well, _really_ down is better, actually. Heck, you might as well desp -"

"Mmm… Mono, all this talk of Honey has made me hungry, and the clock says it's nearly lunch time, and time for a little something."

Mono glanced at the clock, which read half past five, and redoubled his assault.

"There is no honey for you, stupid old bear! Why don't you check?"

"No honey? Well, I could have sworn I saved at least a smackerel left. I suppose I did eat the most of it yesterday…"

Mono's expression faltered. It had already been nearly empty when he threw it out? Not allowing his slight disappointment to get the best of him, Mono kept face.

"Well, anyway, it's _gone_. And look, you're hungry. I guess that's pretty too bad!"

"Well, if I'm out of Honey, then I don't have any. And, from what I know, when one doesn't have any, the best thing he can do is get some. So, that's what I'm going to do."

Mono was speechless for a few seconds, then…

"But…that's hard work! Wouldn't it just be easier to wallow in despair?"

"No work is too hard when Honey is involved, Mono. Hmm, no work is too hard anyways, it seems."

And thus, Edward Bear trotted off into the forest to the nearest Honey Tree, and began to puzzle out how he would get the honey out of it. Mono finally despaired that he would ever win the debate, and the despair gave him such pleasure that he quickly forgot about his disappointment.


End file.
